Time of Ddiscernment

Discernment.  That, as one of my friends put it, is a four letter words disguised with more letters.  You may laugh, but it's a pain in the neck.  Discernment is asking yourself what God is calling you to do and doing it.  Figuring it out, however, is a pain in the neck.  There are no easy answers about what God is calling you to do.  You think you know, but you really don't.  You have to die to yourself, and at time give up your dreams. 
The main thing I've been discerning is a change in my major.  Not only in my major, but in my goal. I finally did it.  I'm going to study Children, Youth, and Family Ministries. Doing this will allow me to start my ministry sooner.Instead of a four year program, which could take me five years, I'll be taking a two year program, which may take me three or four years, because I did mess up in some of my classes by taking things I don't need.  Instead of being an ordained pastor, called to Word and Sacrament, I will be a diaconal minister, called to Word and Service.  My goal is still the same.  I still want to become a hospital chaplain.  My desire is to serve children and families who's lives have turned upside down and may be questioning God.  They may be asking God "why me?" They may be asking God where He is.  They may be asking Him to just get them out of it.  They may be angry.  All of these emotions and questions are ones I know all too well.  I want them to know that God is always there for them, and as long as I am able, I will be too.  I want to bring people hope where there seems to be none.
Doing this is not to say I won't come back and become a pastor later.  But, I need to build up credibility with my synod.  Even though I've been a lay leader (congregational leader) in my church for years, it seems as if my synod is doubting my ability to do the work God has called me to do because of my disability.  But, in the end, it's not about wearing the robe and being called pastor that means everything to me.  It's serving God and His people that means everything. 
The semester is about over.  I'm trying to decide which classes I will take this summer.  I've signed up for three in June, but I'm not sure I will take all of them.  I'm still playing with my schedule.  I don't want to take on too much if I can't handle it, but I also know that I want to reach my goal.  I also have an interview with my synod n July.  I'll explain them and why I need to interview with them another time.  Let's just say they are part of the reason we say discernment is a four letter word.  I will try to do a better job this summer of updating you. 
Thank you for your prayers.  Please continue praying for me as I continue to travel this faith journey.