Time of Ddiscernment

Discernment.  That, as one of my friends put it, is a four letter words disguised with more letters.  You may laugh, but it's a pain in the neck.  Discernment is asking yourself what God is calling you to do and doing it.  Figuring it out, however, is a pain in the neck.  There are no easy answers about what God is calling you to do.  You think you know, but you really don't.  You have to die to yourself, and at time give up your dreams. 
The main thing I've been discerning is a change in my major.  Not only in my major, but in my goal. I finally did it.  I'm going to study Children, Youth, and Family Ministries. Doing this will allow me to start my ministry sooner.Instead of a four year program, which could take me five years, I'll be taking a two year program, which may take me three or four years, because I did mess up in some of my classes by taking things I don't need.  Instead of being an ordained pastor, called to Word and Sacrament, I will be a diaconal minister, called to Word and Service.  My goal is still the same.  I still want to become a hospital chaplain.  My desire is to serve children and families who's lives have turned upside down and may be questioning God.  They may be asking God "why me?" They may be asking God where He is.  They may be asking Him to just get them out of it.  They may be angry.  All of these emotions and questions are ones I know all too well.  I want them to know that God is always there for them, and as long as I am able, I will be too.  I want to bring people hope where there seems to be none.
Doing this is not to say I won't come back and become a pastor later.  But, I need to build up credibility with my synod.  Even though I've been a lay leader (congregational leader) in my church for years, it seems as if my synod is doubting my ability to do the work God has called me to do because of my disability.  But, in the end, it's not about wearing the robe and being called pastor that means everything to me.  It's serving God and His people that means everything. 
The semester is about over.  I'm trying to decide which classes I will take this summer.  I've signed up for three in June, but I'm not sure I will take all of them.  I'm still playing with my schedule.  I don't want to take on too much if I can't handle it, but I also know that I want to reach my goal.  I also have an interview with my synod n July.  I'll explain them and why I need to interview with them another time.  Let's just say they are part of the reason we say discernment is a four letter word.  I will try to do a better job this summer of updating you. 
Thank you for your prayers.  Please continue praying for me as I continue to travel this faith journey.

New Semester...More to Learn...Nervous, But Excited

Hey guys!  I just wanted to let you know my new semester starts today.  I'm nervous, but so excited!  Today I start Reformation of the Church.  I'm nervous about this class...The hardest thing will be the grades I need to pass the tests.  I know if I couldn't do it God wouldn't have brought me this far, though.  But I do need a lot of prayer!  I'll let you know how things are going once I've had the class!

This accidently got put on the wrong blog...Tuesday, April 27

108 Hours of Prayer


Wow! The power of God sure has been spreading at SMSU latley. In fact, it's going like wildfire! A couple weeks ago, we had an event called 108 Hours of Prayer. Basically, we had the Campus Religious Center open for anyone who wanted to come and pray, 24/7, for five days. Not only that, one person was pray for the campus, ministries, frinds, whatever, EVERY HOUR for those five days! One day at 6:30 AM I was up and feeling kinbd of discouraged, so I got on my clothes and went over to thec CRC. I got to praying with a friend of mine. We prayed through Psalm 34, thanking God for His MAJESTY! At one point, Kevin started praying for EXACTLY what I needed. He didn't realize I was hurting, didn't realize I needed help....that's the POWER OF GOD! The next day iwas my scheduled hour to pray. I came about half an hour early. Once again I found Kevin...in ferverent prayer. He didn't even look up when I came in. One might call that insulting, but I didn't. I thought itwas so cool. When he did come to me, he asked if he could pray for me before he left. Of course I said yes. As he kneeled in front of me, just talking to God, I felt so loved. Tears came to my eyes because once again, he was hitting the very things I needed anbd was feeling.

Have you ever been touched in that way? Somebody didn't know you were hurting, didn't know you were struggling, but seemed to touch your life in just the right way at just he right time? I've got news for you...that wasn't magic, it wasn't coincidence...I don't think there is such thing. What I saw in Kevin those two days was total love...for His Savior. Though he didn't know it, he was being the touch of God for me, right when I needed one. That's the POWER of GOD! Feel it in the small things. God is powerful. Just like Psalm Kevin and I read that night, remember God is MAJESTIC, He can do ALL things-not just some things, but ALL things. We read about His goodness and faithfulness.

Also, I would highly reccomend praying through Psalms. It's an awesome way to enhance your prayer life and get to know God's Word better. It's continued to be a blessing in my life since that night.

Graduation finished...Here I am, Lord...I'm Yours

One song we sang during baccalaureate last night is one of my favorite hymns.  It is called "Here I Am Lord".  In this song, God says he's heard the cry of His people...the ones He loves more than  anything.  He says He needs somebody to go for Him, to be the light.  The answer given in the song, and in the Scripture, is this: 
Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?


I have heard You calling in the night.

I will go Lord, if You lead me.

I will hold Your people in my heart.
 
 
God's calling us to go for Him...go to the weak, the lonely, the orphaned, widows.  Not just around the world, but right here at home, among our friends, our family, and even strangers.  So often we forget to look right around us.  God calls us to go to Samaria and Judea, and to he ends of the earth.  Some may be able to go overseas. Others God may call to stay at home and use your gifts to minister to those around you, right where you are.  Either way, don't underestimate your work for the Kingdom...just go when He calls.  It's totally scary, but completely worth it...don't underestimate what you and God can do together.  Just remember, give everything to God...it's hard sometimes to answer the call, but it's worth it.  Anyway, those are just my thoughts for the day.  Have a great day!  God's blessings and love to you!